"A free society depends on the dignity of dissent."—Rabbi Jonathan SacksWe live in an age that knows all too well the opposite of peace—the breakdown of communication, the erosion of civility, the difficulty we have agreeing to disagree.Into this world steps Parshat Vayeshev. After many ups and downs in his life, Jacob finally hoped to settle peacefully in Canaan. Yet, as Rashi (1040–1105) comments, "Jacob wanted to dwell in peace, but then began the troubles of Joseph."Joseph, we are told in Genesis 37, was the favored son of Jacob. But his behavior intensified his brothers' resentment: he brought negative reports about them to their father, received a special coat that singled him out, and shared dreams in which he appeared to rule over them. The Torah tells us that, as a result, "they could not speak peaceably to him," and that "they hated him even more for his dreams and his words." Where did their breakdown begin?The Torah explains that Joseph brought dibbah (slander) about his brothers to his father. This marks the first unraveling of their relationship. Rashi explains that Joseph sought out their faults and reported whatever bad he could find.Strikingly, the word dibbah appears only twice in the entire Torah—here and again in the story of the spies, who spoke ill of the Land of Israel in the Book of Numbers. There too the story describes a collapse in trust and communication. Rashi there explains that dibbah refers to what we might today call an "influencer" effect—criticism amplified in a way that shapes how others think and feel. The spies who returned with a negative report about the land didn't merely express doubt; they infected an entire nation with fear and despair.In the Joseph story, the tension reaches its peak when Jacob sends Joseph to find his brothers. In a haunting scene, Joseph meets a "man" in the field who asks, "What are you seeking?" Joseph replies, "It is my brothers I seek." The man answers, "They have departed from here." Rashi interprets: "They have departed from all feelings of brotherhood." The words sting—the brothers have not only moved physically but have also distanced themselves emotionally.This breakdown between Joseph and his brothers echoes an earlier fraternal tragedy: the story of Cain and Abel. Each brother brought an offering to God, but only Abel's was accepted. The Torah records, "And Cain said to his brother Abel," yet never tells us what he said. The very next words are, "And Cain rose up against his brother and killed him." Why doesn't the Torah tell us what Cain said?Rabbi Sacks writes movingly:
The text’s fractured syntax forces us in the most dramatic way to focus on the fractured relationship between Cain and his brother—and then spells out the consequence: when words fail, violence begins. (Morality, p. 230)
Today, Rabbi Sacks’ warning resonates all too clearly. Social media has amplified polarization and eroded civility. People don’t just disagree anymore; they demonize. They cancel, boycott, and cut off contact with those who think differently. Elsewhere, Rabbi Sacks offers the antidote:
Civility means, among other things, the willingness to listen respectfully to those with whom we disagree. It means forgoing tendentious use of language, ad hominem attacks, the delegitimation of unfashionable opinions, and the substitution of anger for argument. (The Home We Build Together, p. 192)
Parshat Vayeshev often coincides with or falls just before Hanukkah, as it does this year. Hanukkah emphasizes the togetherness of families. The mitzvah of lighting Hanukkah candles is not on the individual person but on the home. The home—whether a family, a synagogue, or a society—is meant to shine as one. The Hanukkah candles remind us that even amid disagreement, we can still find points of light—sparks of connection and shared purpose—within our families, our communities, and our people.
Rabbanit Karen Miller Jackson is a certified Meshivat Halacha, Jewish educator and writer known for her contributions to Torah studies and educational initiatives, including at Matan Institute for Torah Studies. She is a member of the second cohort of Sacks Scholars and a Matan Kitvuni Fellow, currently writing a book on aggada in Talmud Berachot. Karen is also the creator of #PowerParsha, host of the Eden Center podcast Women & Wellbeing, and is the founder of Kivun l’Sherut, a guidance program for religious girls before sherut le’umi or army service. She lives with her family in Ra’anana, Israel.
This essay was written as part of our collaboration with The Rabbi Sacks Legacy Sacks Scholars.
